Over the past 30 years, the significant problem of domestic abuse has slowly come out of the closet in the U.S. and has emerged as one of our most serious social problems. Women’s advocate groups, mental health professionals and government officials have responded by implementing dv offender laws and by developing batterers intervention programs. The results of years of research shows that jail time is just not enough. Offenders must learn how to change their ways through informative and educational treatment programs.
Most perpetrators of domestic violence are people who grew up with role models that displayed this behavior. They often avoid taking responsibility or ignore their actions by minimizing it. They consider their actions like verbal abuse, or disallowing contact with friends and family, or checking their partner’s email or voice mail messages or physical punishment as not that serious or frequent to worry about. “It only happens every few months, not a big deal.” Another tactic is to completely deny it ever happened which leads the victim to begin to think that she is actually the crazy one. “You must have given yourself a black eye when you tripped. I didn’t touch you!” Or if the offender can manage to admit to the behavior, they blame it on their partner. “She lied to me once, so now I have to listen to all her phone messages to make sure she’s telling me the truth.” This controlling behavior slowly breaks down the self-confidence of the victim and leaves them co-dependent, stressed and anxious.
A common denominator in all domestic violence situations is a lack of empathy in the offender. We have seen it throughout our history from slave owners, to the Nazi party, to todays playground and cyber bullies. These people are generally not able to feel the impact that their actions are having on others. The just don’t realize or understand how they are inflicting pain. When levels of empathy increase, individuals are less likely to get involved in bullying and aggressive situations.
BIP or domestic violence classes work towards improving the offender’s self-awareness and to learn the skills necessary to experience things from another person’s point of view, or empathy. The first step is to get the abuser to acknowledge his abusive behavior. Once he has accepted the need to change, classes teach how to recognize what triggers his anger towards his partner and techniques to redirect or stop the build-up of hostility. Offenders learn that domestic violence includes more than just physical contact, but emotional as well and new skills in stress management, empathy, listening and communication are taught to help control aggressive behavior.
The goal of sending dv offenders to a class is to break the cycle so that even if they can’t stay with their current intimate partners, this lifestyle will not continue to perpetuate in future relationships. In some situations, taking a class can also help to clear their public record for future employment opportunities. Following through on a dv education class can be a learning experience that changes lives in a positive direction forever.
