It has been 20 years since the initial passage of the Violence Against Women Act and research indicates that there has been about a 64% reduction in domestic violence among adult women. The truth is that when there are consequences for bad behavior, individuals do think twice about it. Furthermore, the country’s first Domestic Violence Hotline set up at that time has helped approximately 3.4 million people to overcome this abuse and could help more if it had more funding. This is major progress, but with this week’s news about Ray Rice, it is apparent that it’s still a very significant issue. In fact as a result of all the publicity, the National DV Hotline received an 84% increase in phone calls just in the two days after the video was released to national networks. If you haven’t managed to see the footage that has been replayed endlessly on national television, it’s live video feed of him punching his wife and knocking her unconscious in a public elevator.
So this public display of violence is a reminder to us all of why congress passed this Act and the fact there are many more situations like this that still go on behind closed doors every day. The only positive thing to come from this is that it has relit the conversation and has encouraged many people to ask for help. In our own family, my children have unwittingly been exposed to the footage while watching sporting events on television and have been shocked, questioning why anyone would treat another person this way. It’s unfortunately given us the opportunity to explain what domestic abuse is and what the flags are to look for in people that are potential offenders. I’m sure it’s also made many abusers think twice because its more apparent than ever that there are video surveillance cameras in most public places, most people have the ability to quickly pick up a scene on their phones and with social media sites, it’s impossible to keep this kind of thing quiet.
Ray Rice will have many hurdles to face for his unacceptable behavior. Although his wife is standing by him, the NFL isn’t. He lost his career and his financial stability. He is now expected to participate in a yearlong intervention program to learn to change his ways and hopefully come out a better person. The purpose of sending him to a batterers intervention program is because the violence is preventable. Many offenders grow up witnessing this behavior in their own homes and don’t know anything different. Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles or others in their community modeled it and they think it’s the way to gain control in an intimate relationship. It’s learned throughout their youth and can be unlearned in adulthood by understanding the tools to utilize to create healthy relationships. A good course or 1/1 therapy will teach him how to recognize his anger triggers, how to improve his communication and listening skills, and anger and stress management skills. The plan is to develop a new pattern of behavior for sustained change and stop the cycle of violence.
