Has your anger been getting the better of you? Does it last too long, get too intense or even lead to aggression? Have you been managing your anger until this point, but now feel like you are losing control? Living your life with these angry feelings can cause all sorts of problems. Physically you might have started to experience high blood pressure or gastrointestinal problems. You get mad, you start to sweat, your stomach tightens, you clench your jaw, your face turns red, you start to tremble and your judgment becomes cloudy. Then things happen that you later regret. This is not how you need to live your life and you can take action to change it!
Numerous studies show that many individuals who have anger management issues learned this habit-forming behavior in childhood. Boys who grow up in a household in which they witness abuse are twice as likely to abuse their own intimate partners and kids when they grow up. Often times, these angry feelings unfortunately result in some form of domestic abuse. In fact, the CDC reports that about 1.3 million women become the victims of physical violence by their intimate partner each year and almost 1/3 of female homicide victims are killed by their boyfriend, husband or ex-husband. Before your intimate partner relationship reaches a tragic level, get help. As you may have already experienced, in some states such as Alaska, Colorado, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah and Washington, if a phone call is made to the police during an altercation, officers must place the offender under arrest and a hearing is usually set for 24 – 48 hours later.
So, now what can you expect? At the first hearing, the judge will take a look at all the facts and decide whether there is probable cause and what limitations should be imposed on the abuser. One of the first things the judge will decide is whether you can have any contact with the victim. This means if you are perceived to be a threat to your former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, child or a relative, a protective order will be imposed so that you will be arrested if you get near them or bother them in any way for a period of time. The judge will also determine if the children involved are unsafe in any way. If so, full custody will be granted to the victim in the form of a restraining order.
The next court date you can expect is the arraignment. You will be formally told what all the accusations are and what your options are. Then you can expect a pre-trial hearing within the next 30 days in which the court monitors the progress of your case, makes sure that you are following any orders that were issued and discusses any new issues that have arisen. This is a time when many cases are resolved before they go to a formal trial stage. If your case continues on to the trial, the prosecutor must prove all the elements of your crime beyond a reasonable doubt. If you still haven’t come to a negotiated resolution during this time, your case will progress to sentencing. Each case and state will vary on the resulting implications for the offender, but they can include covering all medical expenses, lost wages, counseling and legal expenses and damaged property for the victim, as well as more jail time, community service hours, fines and mandatory Batterers Intervention Classes (BIP) ranging from 8 – 52 sessions.
Domestic Violence classes are generally court ordered to teach offenders how to “unlearn” this negative pattern of behavior. Defendants learn how to understand what triggers the abusive behavior and positive alternative ways to handle stress, trauma or upsetting situations. The goal is to develop better communication skills, improve mental and physical health, strengthen relationships and create a better-balanced approach to life. These classes can be taken online with approval from the judge or locally at traditional in-person classroom settings. Do the research to find the best and most convenient program for your needs. This is the one thing that some judges will often work with you on so you don’t have to miss more work or school to get to mandatory classes.
