October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, a time when communities across the nation are making a point to heighten awareness of this very serious issue. Domestic violence is usually a learned behavior that is imbedded in childhood. Research shows that an individual who grows up in a home in which physical and/or verbal abuse was acceptable, is more likely to perpetuate these practices in adulthood. It is a pattern of abusive behavior in an intimate relationship that is used by one person to gain control over the other. Women are more likely than men to experience it, but it can affect both genders, all socio-economic groups, education levels, ages and races. People often picture a poor, uneducated male beating up his wife like we see in the movies, but the highly paid executive who attended the finest schools can also be an offender. The facts are unsettling; everyday in the U.S. more than 3 women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
Individuals don’t “grow out” of the behavior and it doesn’t simply go away after time. The only way to help batterers break the cycle is to teach them how to recognize their behavior, understand how it affects everyone around them, how to calm themselves down and relearn how to respond when things make them angry. Aggressors often think that the victim brought on and even deserved the violence because of something they did like not get the house in order or have dinner on the table. Or, because of the perception that the spouse was flirting with someone else or cares more for another than they do for their own husband. It’s the “you had it coming” mentality. The first step is that the perpetrator needs to take complete responsibility over his own actions instead of putting the blame on someone or something else. The point is that when they get angry, they have control to not respond in a destructive manner.
People who recognize themselves as perpetrators in abusive relationships can learn how to change their behavior by taking a domestic violence class. Programs teach participants to take a look at how they are creating the negative situation by emphasizing that the only power you really have is over yourself. Classes teach how to analyze trigger points and how to manage the initial reaction by taking a moment or moments to calm down. It’s critical to acknowledge that the initial reaction is not usually the best, so learning stress management techniques helps to quell that first sense of outrage. Another important tool is how to be empathetic of the feelings of the intimate partner by strengthening the ability to perceive and interpret their emotions. Improving emotional intelligence will create a major shift in the relationship and will reap benefits in the workplace and socially as well. Participants also learn how to more clearly and effectively communicate their feelings in a non-aggressive and respectful way.
Online domestic violence classes like those provided by the AJ Novick Group, Inc., can be taken from any Internet connected Ipad, Tablet, Smartphone, PC, or laptop in the country. Students simply enroll in the class length they are interested in and can get going at any time of the day or night. The beauty of an online dv program is that you don’t need to wait for a weekly in-person class, or until regular workweek business hours, but can enroll at 5 in the morning if they want to. A high quality program designed for court approval will provide the same information as an in-person program, and with a proof of enrollment form, progress reports, and a Certificate of Completion. The goal is to develop the critical skills necessary to change your life around, while in the convenient and relaxed environment of your own home.
